I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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