brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Come share oat with me in your robe
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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