just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
