is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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