gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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