I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
