Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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