I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
