the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
