totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
