Duck Duck Cougar?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
