final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
