He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
There r osticjed everywhere
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
