i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
that's an acceptable place to lick
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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