I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
