this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
