He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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