dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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