Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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