It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
