haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
