time to smoke my breakfast
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
