Operation Purity has been aborted
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
