sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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