I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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