So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
