in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
