Im at strip club and am horny
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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