well most of my day revolves around power hour
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
