I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Randomize