i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Your penis caused this!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
