we're blogging at a bar
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
