shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
