she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
