So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
