I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
