Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
