He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
