It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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