I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
