Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
