Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
