I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
