whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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