Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
this hospital has no fireball
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
