I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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