That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
