The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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