My cat gives me a boner
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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