Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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