I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
