i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
