Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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