you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
