is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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