I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Sext me about skeletons
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
