how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
