it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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