I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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