Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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