Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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