I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Small penises have feelings too.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
