We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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