I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
